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A View Into My Universe

Father’s Day weekend brings up many memories and mixed feelings; I no longer have a living father and my daughters’ dad has been dead since 2012. John’s family doesn’t do much (anything?) for him for the day, so he invited me to a car show on Sunday. His brother is displaying (is that the right word?) their grandfather’s old truck. Brother D. is a car guy and has restored it beautifully. I’m not really a car show person, but my goal is to remain open to new experiences and adventures. As much as my stodgy personality will allow anyway!

My dad was a very special guy: funny, intelligent, kind and supportive. Even as he aged into his 80s and 90s, he was protective of his family, wondering if I needed help or offering to drive me around when the roads were snowy. He grew up east of the mountains and knew how to handle snow. He died in 2021 and I still miss him, especially when I want to rant about politics or discuss books.

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Although my mom and I were best friends, we were also different in personality. My dad always got me, plus we shared the same sense of humor. He could make me laugh with just a certain glance my way after one of my mom’s malapropisms. ” A horse of a different ballgame.” “He didn’t have a penny to rub together.”

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My husband never had a dad, so he wasn’t quite sure how to parent. But he did know how to love. He was amazed by his first daughter and so proud of her!

He didn’t seem disappointed when we had a second girl. “Girls can do everything that boys can.”

Although YD looks more like me, she’s much more like her father in personality and abilities, like her athletic prowess. Here, we were at a Level 9 Gymnastics Nationals meet in Colorado with Pikes Peak in the background. It’s about the same elevation as Rainier but nowhere near as topographically prominent. I wasn’t impressed. Note: Mount Rainier is the #1 most prominent in the contiguous United States, so I’m spoiled.

This was one of the last birthdays he celebrated and I’m happy that both daughters could be here. As most of you know, they’ve often lived in other places and states, and in various countries too. My husband admired that, but it wasn’t easy dealing with his cancer with one daughter in New York and the other in college near Canada.

In his honor and memory, I try to be the best grandparent I can to my four grandsons. Anders finds bubbles magical. He tells me he loves me constantly and runs to me for snuggles.

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Happy Baby Ian, new to this world, smiles at everyone and everything. He’s a ray of pure joy!

Sharky was eager to show me the moves he learned in soccer camp and to impress me with his improvement at T-ball. He actually goes for the ball now and makes plays!

Obro has a big personality with his Hulk gloves (watch out!), constant conversation and bear hugs.

They are a treasure, these four. My husband would have been entranced by them.

In the meantime, I have a new nozzle for my back hose…finally. A man at the hardware store told me how pretty it was, and I responded that it was why I chose it. Who cares how it actually works? LOL

While at this store, I nearly came home with a bunch of dahlias until I realized that the 50% off was only for the ceramic pottery. Darn!

This double petunia is getting leggy already, but I hate to cut it back since the blooms are so pretty! Chaotic and all over the place like me, eh?

Of my three coleuses, this one has tripled in size unlike the others. They’re in the front and this one is on the deck. Hmmm.

In spite of the hot weather, I can no longer put off mowing the lawn. At least I enjoy the exercise and the fresh air, although I would prefer it 10 degrees cooler. 🙂

Watching: Nothing much. I loved “Long Lost Family” so I was excited to give “Relative Race” a try. It looked heartwarming. However, it’s an actual race–a competition to find the family that the show has already located. There’s even a cash prize at the end which seems tawdry to me. I was very disappointed. 🙁

Reading: I’m struggling with “The Loneliness of Sonia and Sunny.” The writing is weird, but OK. However, I’m not bonding with any of the characters and it’s a LONG book. I’m hoping it improves…or my attitude does.

Happy Friday (Juneteenth!) and weekend to all!

Comments

36 responses to “Potpourri”

  1. Linda Avatar

    Dear Margaret, your photos are beautiful! I like the fact that you are allowing yourself to try out new adventures such as a car show. I am not keen on cars, either.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      To be honest, John isn’t really a car guy either. He is much more of an airplane and helicopter person. He mainly wants to support his brother.

  2. kayak woman Avatar

    I actually thought Father’s Day had already occurred. I bought the GG his Father’s Day gift a while back (vintage shirt with old motor botes) and then couldn’t wait to give it to him. I’m at our Lake Superior cabin with my husband, one of our daughters, and one of our nieces. Our niece’s father (my brother) is dead. The GG doesn’t need much of a celebration but we may try to honor him and my brother somehow. It won’t be fancy but they aren’t/weren’t fancy guys.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      I don’t really keep track of it anymore because I don’t need to. When my husband was alive, he usually chose a low-key dinner out, Thai food or Mexican or to go to miniature golf or have a barbecue. Like many of these so-called holidays, it’s just an excuse to get together. Like you’re doing right now!

  3. AC Avatar

    It is good for John that you will be with him this weekend.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      He is always there for me, and I try to be for him as well. Although we’re not married, we’ve been together for longer than many couples, coming up on eight years.

  4. Doug M Avatar
    Doug M

    Lots of great photos Margaret, and it’s hard to believe your dad’s been gone since 2021. I’ve known you long before that. It really does break my heart your husband didn’t get to see his daughters more grown up or all his handsome grandboys. He sounded like a great dad. Life just kills me… all these deadbeat dads out there, yet the good ones get taken too soon. You know what? You should set up a gofundme for Baby Ian’s college education. He has the sweetest little smile and biggest eyes ever.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      Thank you, Doug! How are you feeling? I need an update. I can’t think too much about what my husband has missed out on or I would really fall into a funk. YD’s college graduation and travels. OD’s PhD and accomplishments. The lovely grandsons. He wasn’t great with babies; to be honest, he wasn’t super interested. As the girls got older, he was more involved in their activities and didn’t miss many concerts, art shows, gymnastics meets or ballet recitals. Many of them weren’t in his comfort zone, but if his girls were participating, he was there. Ian is so adorable! When he’s delighted to see me and gives me a big smile, my heart melts.

  5. Susan Avatar
    Susan

    I like low-key Father’s Day celebrations. Our tradition is to always start with funny cards then follow with either a BBQ or a meal at a restaurant.
    Your grandsons are growing so fast. Each developing special interests as well as a unique personality. You are truly blessed to have 4 healthy very happy grandsons.
    Your coleus and petunias are beautiful. The colors are outstanding.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      Yes, low-key is best although I would like John’s daughters to acknowledge him more. He does so much for them and very unselfishly. None of my business, I know! The daughter who would probably invite John somewhere lives in El Paso while the local one isn’t as thoughtful. Each grandson is indeed unique; I love discovering more about who they are. I love them so much!

  6. Kay's Musings Avatar

    You certainly have two wonderful fathers to celebrate in your family, Margaret. My daughter has arranged for us to have a video chat with our son in Africa and her family in Chicago. It’s sad that everyone is so far away, but we manage.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      What a wonderful idea! I lived for the Skype calls with both daughters when they were far away. I would have adjusted if OD had gotten the Montreal job, but it would have been difficult, especially to be so distant from my small grandsons. Like you though, I would have managed and made the best of it.

  7. Jay Avatar

    We probably won’t do much here for father’s day. I’m not even taking Carl to the Mariners game. It’ll be our day off, so I suppose I could take him out to eat. I suspect our kids will call, although our daughter was a day late calling me for mother’s day and our son will be in an area with very poor phone coverage. I will call my Dad as well.
    Your grandsons are all beautiful, especially Ian.
    Car shows can be fascinating if you get the owners talking about their babies. I don’t always understand it all, but their enthusiasm and passion can be catching.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      Thanks! The boys are so unique and I do love learning about what interests them and being a large part of their lives. For now anyway. They’ll soon grow up and I won’t be so important. Sigh. Father’s Day is whatever you make of it. Ours was always low-key, just an excuse to get together. I don’t have a hobby I’m passionate about so I enjoy hearing about others’ interests, even if I don’t share them. Yesterday I was having coffee with a friend across from the Fair. There was a comics convention, and I loved seeing the enthusiasm and costumes of many of the young adults.

  8. Betty Renfroe Avatar
    Betty Renfroe

    Girls really need a Dad to love them. It helps them delay finding a male to give them attention. A theory…maybe just mine.

    Your plants are lush.

    Focus on your family. Do all you can to nourish them. What better thing can one give?

    I mow once a week. It’s such a big chore that I try not to mow before the 7 days have passed. When we get rain, it’s a jungle.

    Life is hard then you die. Leave a footprint not a big bank account. Betty bywords.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      Dads are extremely important! Losing her dad in her early twenties wasn’t good for YD; that’s when she went off the rails. My plants seem to be getting what they need. I mow about once every 4-5 days. I can’t stand looking at it! My husband used to say that “life is hard” quote. 🙂

  9. Michael Avatar

    I enjoyed reading your post with all of the great photos. It was very touching about your reflections on your dad and your husband in their roles as fathers. Have a good weekend.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      I appreciate your kind words, Michael. I do reflect on the impact my dad had on me and what the loss of my husband did to my children, especially my younger daughter. She was becoming much closer to him with my older daughter out of the house, then he got sick. They’d had a fractious relationship (on her side) when she was in high school.

  10. Steve Avatar

    I don’t think the double petunia needs trimming, for what it’s worth. It still looks nice.

    You know I would have been all over those dahlias!

    Interesting reflections on the dads, daughters and grandsons in your life.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      Thanks, Steve! I can’t bear to cut off the beautiful flowers. My photo doesn’t show their deep purple color very accurately. I was almost all over the dahlias; there were so many I would have bought!

  11. JT Twissel Avatar

    I also miss discussing books with my father. We couldn’t quite handle politics! But books and classical music – always. (now I need a Kleenex!)

    1. Margaret Avatar

      My dad was a history teacher, and very into politics. He also loved classical music and would take me to concerts when I was young. Just him and me. Those were very special times.

  12. Pam Avatar

    Very sad about Patt – I’m sure he would have loved those boys. I feel that about my parents – I wish they’d known the grandkids. Sigh. Life is short. But we’re lucky to have grandchildren.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      He would have loved their energy and interest in construction, vehicles of all types and sports. (especially Sharky) Patt was very creative himself and would have encouraged that in them. I’m not so creative but I try. We are extremely lucky to have grandchildren!

  13. Midwest Mark Avatar

    Your dad sounds like a keeper. I love a good malapropism!

    1. Margaret Avatar

      Both of my mom’s parents spoke only Italian until they went to school. I’m wondering if she heard some of the malapropisms from them.

  14. Marie Avatar
    Marie

    How was the car show? Owen’s working on our car right now, so hopefully we’ll get to go to one in the near future. Love all of those flowers. The double petunia is so pretty. I don’t think I’ve seen one like that.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      The car show was crowded and had way more cars than I expected. It’s apparently a traditional Father’s Day car show. There were also some booths selling things and lots of food stuff. You know I’m a sucker for two tone flowers with lots of petals! Let me know if you’re going to take the car to a show so John and I can attend.

  15. Pipe Tobacco Avatar
    Pipe Tobacco

    I find car shows usually pretty fun….. when they are “classics” meaning cars that were restored to what they originally looked like when new. “Duded” up hot rods and that ilk….. not my thing.

    Beautiful and fun photos in this post!

    PipeTobacco

  16. Margaret Avatar

    It was a huge car show with a variety of cars and many classic ones. Some were very fancy and others were more rustic. 😂You would love the LeMay Car Museum! It’s a super interesting place.

  17. Anne Bennett Avatar

    This was a sweet post with such poignant memories of your father and your husband. My Dad and I went especially close, not distant, but not really close. As the second child of four I never had time with my parents without other siblings around. By the time I was grown I hadn’t developed that special relationship with my Dad that I think my other sisters had with him. // I didn’t know that Patt didn’t know his own father. That must have been very hard for him.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      I was the only girl and shared a lot of my dad’s personality and interests like reading and classical music. That helped! Patt’s dad deserted the family when he was about four and he was happy not to have any memories of him. There was really nothing to miss and I was much more curious about his dad than he was. He just accepted it for what it was.

  18. Matt Shifley Avatar

    This is such a beautifully written post, Margaret. Your reflections on both your dad and your husband are so moving. It sounds like they were both wonderful fathers who knew exactly how to show up for their families, even when it pushed them out of their comfort zones. Your grandsons are absolutely precious, too—Ian’s smile is pure joy! Enjoy the car show with John this weekend; it sounds like a perfect opportunity for a new adventure.

    1. Margaret Avatar

      Thanks, Matt! All of us parents have our faults, but my dad and my girls’ dad loved, supported and were there for their families. Not perfect, yet close enough! The grandsons are a joy and the way the three oldest ones run at me for hugs when they see me means the world. We enjoyed the car show, in spite of the crowds!

  19. Tonya Avatar

    I love your petunia and I have one very similar in burgundy. It’s so very strange (but lovely!) and that’s why I like it so much.

    I think about what my dad has missed seeing Nate grow into such a man with many accomplishments, and his great-grandson whom he would have adored (just as he did Nate.)

    1. Margaret Avatar

      It only looks deep burgundy when it’s wet, but otherwise it looks black. I love that! I tend to pick out quirky plants if I see them. What does that say about me? My dad was alive when Sharky was young, but never met him face-to-face. Patt would’ve been so delighted with his four grandsons! The older two know a lot about grandpa Patt because older daughter talks about him a lot and plays some of his favorite music, like John Denver.

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